The Beauty of Surrender

While thinking of what to write, I felt it would be an injustice to write about the struggle of surrender without also capturing its beauty. This is perhaps going to be one of my longest post and that’s okay. 

In previous blog posts, I have written about seasons of waiting, pushing, trusting, and struggling with surrender. By now, you pretty much have a glimpse of the refining process I have been going through. For the first time in all of this, I choose to write about the beauty of surrender.

I never thought I would be using the words “beauty” to describe any of these past seasons in my life. But here I am today, writing about the beauty I have experienced from the place of surrender. Sometimes I wonder, “if surrender produces such beauty and tranquility, why then do we find it so hard”? Is it the fear of uncertainty? Is it the fear of clinging to what we know rather than future promises?

I’m not sure what the reason is for most people. But I believe I struggled a lot with surrendering because of my fear of uncertainties. It didn’t matter if I had been told over and over again, that it was going to be alright— if it went beyond logical reasoning, then it was a problem.

Now I realize that Surrender is actually an act of faith. You can never be too sure of what lies ahead but all you can do is simply trust in the integrity of the God who gave you His promises—to bring you to an expected end.

My act of surrender was one that I believe came from a place of a more intimate love walk with the HolySpirit.  It also got to a point where I could no longer rely on my senses to lead me. And there was just the burning need to actually let it all go and trust God. I know it was beyond a cognitive decision —if not, I will still have been struggling till today.

Sometimes I wonder if this post is a little bit too early to talk about the serenity I find in surrender. Maybe there is still more to come that will shake that serenity. Nonetheless, I still want to write about the beauty of the place where I am and not worry about what happens tomorrow.

I might not have the exact words to capture this new phase and tranquility I have found. But I will try my best to describe it. It’s like a wave of peace and stillness that is beyond explanations. It is so beautiful and grounding. With surrender, I feel a sense of God being enthroned in a heart that was previously occupied with all the cares of this world. It’s no longer my plans vs His plans, it’s all about His plans becoming my plans. In this phase, I have found myself feeling so secure, even in the face of uncertainties and challenges that would have gotten me riled up in the past. With surrender, I am beginning to experience situations from a place of rest because I can trust in the Father’s love and promises —when I don’t understand or when it doesn’t make sense, I know I can trust Him :)

Learning to surrender has been totally worth it! And I will do so again and again, till I am emptied of this world and full of Christ. Nothing I have experienced in this world surpasses that rest that comes from letting go and letting God.